Sense and Nonsense

Elbow Bump

I suffer the ignominy of teaching at a Catholic school, where liturgical services include the exchange of a "handshake of peace."  Good lord.  If there is one thing I don't want to do, it's shake the hands of a bunch of people who have just been shaking each other's hands.  

If you listen and look around for the fifteen minutes before this idiotic custom, you hear and see dozens of people coughing, sneezing, etc.  This handshake of peace is a barbaric custom.  It should be banished.  I'm all in favor of the "elbow bump of peace."   If this influenza becomes pandemic, the stupid Catholic church will be responsible for much of its spread. 

Hey, Berwick!

If Teddy Kennedy can be a knight, too, maybe you're not so special, after all!

"I Love This Recession!"

THIS RECESSION IS AWESOME!
by LUCAS KAVNER from McSweeney's

Mom and Dad keep talking about this recession and I gotta say: it's awesome! Yesterday, I ate pizza for breakfast, mac and cheese and hot-dog cubes for lunch, and then more pizza for dinner! Mom said that I could eat as much McDonald's as I want, and she even offered to leave me there in the ball pit for an entire day while she went and looked for new jobs! Awesome!

Every day after school, I used to go to violin lessons, but now Mom says I don't have to go anymore! This is so awesome because the violin was so boring and my teacher, Mrs. Calabrass, smelled like the attic and didn't let me drink soda! But now I don't have to deal with Mrs. Calabrass or listen to stupid Brahms with her! I hate the attic—but I love this recession!

We'd planned to go to France or something for our family vacation. But now, since it's the recession, we're all going to Gilbert's Goofy Park and playing minigolf and going on the go-karts! And even batting cages maybe, too! I don't think France has any batting cages or go-karts, so this is an amazing, amazing thing! I think if I'm good I can probably eat pizza at Gilbert's Goofy Park! I love pizza and I love this recession!

Dad's been home so much recently and it's been awesome! He just wears underpants and watches sports highlights and eats Cooler Ranch Doritos, which sounds super fun! I have to go to school, so I only get to see him when I get home, but yesterday Dad and I played Xbox together for six hours! He started off pretty good at the games, but each hour he got worse and worse, and soon he started making weird noises! He even started saying his words all slow and jumbled like a crazy man! He's really having a good time in this recession! So am I!

We used to have to drive like a gazillion hours in the car to get to Grandma's weird big blue house with no TV, but now Grandma drives her new house over to us in her new RV! It's amazing! I totally didn't know cars could also be houses and have stoves and have TVs, but they can! Grandma has it all thanks to the recession. And so do I!

Man, I hope this recession never ends. Me and my friends always high-five each other when we hear an older person say, "Not in this economy," because we know it always leads to something awesome for us! This is the best childhood ever! I could live like this for the rest of my life!

I love this recession!

Israeli Immorality

Israel sickens me.  The quote is right: "stupid, petty, and over-controlling."

Bipartisan Cooperation

© AllHatNoCattle.com

Olmert Cut from Bush-Cheney Cloth

Israeli Prime Minister Olmert says Israeli troops will be kept safe from war-crimes trials.  "At issue," the BBC reports, "is Israel’s use of white phosphorous, a chemical agent that is not permitted in densely populated areas because it sticks to and severely burns human tissue."  Horrendous assholes.  They all must be so proud of themselves!

Be Afraid. Be VERY Afraid.

Gay Marriage.  It threatens your very way of life.

h/t to 23/6

Hallelujah

Change we can believe in.

Israel's Disgrace

You'd think it would tell the Israelis something when hundreds of thousands of people around the globe are taking to the streets to demonstrate against the horrific Israeli attacks on Gaza.  But, no . . .

My own most devout wish from an Obama Administration was that this president would finally end the blind, reflexive, and ultimately harmful U.S. support for Israel.  Obama's genuflection before the altar of AIPAC last June pretty much ended that dream.

Now, Israel is demonstrating its own blindness, its own violent, knee-jerk impulses.  The strategic purpose behind Israel's current fighting is not at all apparent.  [UPDATE: Apart from its immorality, the "legality" of Israel's military campaign is highly questionable.]

As Bush has proved, violence begets violence.  It's remarkable that the Israeli leadership believes that cycle will somehow stop with their actions. It won't.  It will only get worse.

© Kevin Siers    Click to enlarge.  

Because It's Wrong

That's why.  What Israel is doing is hideously wrong.  And everybody knows it, except, apparently, the same war-mongering apologists who got us into Iraq.